The 3 Conerstones of Love!!

Our maker is love and since He made us in His image, we are love. No doubt love is the commonest word in humanity. The interesting thing, however, is that no one really knows exactly what love is.

In an attempt to give us a better understanding of love, many people have come up with analogies, metaphors and theories of love. In Akan, for example, we say "odo ye de wu" or love is death. An old time Ghanaian musician also came up with a song which explained that love is strange because it makes us mad.

Today we have many theories of love. A theory is an idea that explains how or why something happens. Some have made theories of love out of shapes. There is a theory that love is a wheel.
An American professor, Stemburg, has come up with a theory that love is a triangle. A triangle is a shape that has three straight sides.

The love triangle

According to Stenburg, the three dimensions of a love triangle are commitment, intimacy and passion.

Commitment is the cognitive part of love. It is the determination to make the relationship work. It may begin slowly but increases as partners move their relationship to more advanced stages like moving from friendship to marriage. Committed partners stay in their relationship even during difficult times.

Intimacy is the emotional component of love. It involves sharing feelings and providing emotional support. Partners share personal information which they may ordinarily not do because of the risk involved. Partners open up for discussion and sharing. They build trust for each other.

Passion is the motivational component of love.
It is usually expressed by touching, kissing and sexual interactions. Passion is like addition. It builds quickly and ends quickly.

The three dimensions of love may be combined to give eight types of love.
For example, 'NON LOVE' occurs when none of the three dimensions is present.

'LIKE' occurs when there is just intimacy, but no passion and commitment.

In 'EMPTY LOVE' there is commitment but no passion or intimacy.

'ROMANTIC LOVE' has both intimacy and passion but no commitment.

'FATUOUS LOVE' occurs when there is commitment and passion but no intimacy.

'CONSUMMATE LOVE' is complete love, counting all three dimensions.

It is obvious that where two lovers have all the three dimensions present in high levels; they have a happy relationship. Where in a relationship, one has the three dimensions at high levels but when the 'other has low levels, the relationship is prone to failure.
Partners may start with low levels and grow all the three dimensions.

Do you have a love theory?

Anyone can have a love theory provided it exhibits two essentials of love. First, it must indicate you have a positive self esteem and love yourself. Being a loving person is the best way to be loved. If you do not love yourself you can't love anybody and nobody can love you.

Second, it must indicate you are prepared to make someone better by the sacrifices you make for him or her. If you are true lovers, both must be better as a result of the relationship because you both make sacrifices to build each other.

You focus on the relationship and should not have serious interests outside the relationship. True love also has no room for possessiveness, jealousy, intolerance, inequality, immorality and abuse. Above all, the love should make you best friends.

You don't have to scratch your head to understand theories of love. Just show it in your simple ways. Always remember true love is patient and kind. It is not self-seeking nor keeps records of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects and preserves. This is the kind of love you should focus on because it never fails.

Nana Addo's acceptance speech!

First of all, let us give thanks to Almighty God for this day which has seen our event pass off in peace and solidarity. Praise and Glory be to his Name. Amen.

I am particularly grateful to my beautiful wife, Rebecca, and our daughters for their patience, understanding and support throughout this arduous campaign.

To the 107,116 delegates of our great party, who cast their vote, giving us a 95 per cent turnout, I thank you. I’m humbled. My gratitude knows no bounds. I thank you all – from the polling station executives, through the electoral area coordinators, constituency and regional officers, Nasara Club members, TESCON members to our members from the external branches who took time off to fly back home to cast their votes. I thank you. Thank you so very much.

You heard the voices of the people on the ground and voted with them in mind. I thank you and them – the market women, the taxi drivers, the farmers, the fishermen, the workers, the students, the teachers, the nurses, the traders, the businesspersons, the professionals and so many well-meaning Ghanaians. I want also to place on record my gratitude to the Inspector General of Police, Regional Police Commanders, and all the police officers who provided security for my campaign as I traveled throughout the country. God bless each and everyone of you.

Let me also extend my gratitude to all others who contributed in diverse ways, including the prayer warriors and millions of Ghanaians who used their voices and prayers for this victory.

I am humbled also by the fact that, today, I have received from our party the greatest endorsement of any leader of our tradition. This is beyond my wildest imagination. Thank you. Thank you so very much. I promise you, I will not let you down this time.

You can be sure of one thing this evening – they, at the Castle, can hear all this cheering coming down the 28 February Road to Castle Road, and I am sure they are paying rapt attention because today the NPP has spoken with one strong voice.

The message is loud and clear:
THE NPP IS READY, STEADY, UNITED AND GOING FOR VICTORY IN 2012!
BE PREPARED!

I thank the Electoral Commission for supervising and conducting this historic election and the mass media for keeping the Ghanaian people informed on proceedings right from the August 2009 constitutional amendments at the La Trade Fair Site to tonight. Our immediate past-National Chairman, Peter Mac Manu, and his executives, are to be congratulated for steering through these far-reaching amendments, which are already serving us so positively and which are contributing greatly to the renewal of our party at its grassroots.

A special gratitude to the National Chairman, Otanka Obetsebi-Lamptey, and his national team, all regional and constituency officers for defying the odds to organise this historic presidential primary in such a successful kra be hwe manner. Two hundred and thirty one (231) simultaneous polls across the constituencies of Ghana – in a cordial, peaceful, free, fair and transparent manner. Ayekoo! This is excellent!

I, also, want to take this opportunity to thank the party’s National Council of Elders, the National Elections Committee, as well as all the various Elections Committees, for the mature and responsible manner with which they guided the conduct of this historic election.

So far, this is, no doubt, the greatest moment in all my political years. And, trust me, there’ve been many. It gives us a strong platform for the ultimate battle ahead in 2012.

We shall go into that battle confidently on the strong record of the Kufuor presidency – and, Sir, we are grateful to you for that; as well as on the new initiatives and perspectives we shall bring to bear in the course of our 2012 campaign.

The efficiency with which the party, under the leadership of our new national executives, organised this election under five months is a major assurance to all of us that we will, indeed, build an efficient and effective political machine to drive us on to Victory in 2012.

Today, the NPP -- the Danquah-Dombo-Busia tradition, the noblest tradition in Ghanaian politics -- has shown once more its bold commitment to enhancing democracy in our country. With this election, we have established a strong template for defining the modern contours of intra-party democracy in Africa.

This victory is far bigger than this little, simple man standing before you now. This is your victory; it’s a victory for our party; for multi-party democracy in Ghana and in Africa. This is a victory for a brighter, prosperous future, where the young men and women of our nation can lead dignified, purposeful and fulfilling lives.

Let me thank my four competitors, Kwabena Frimpong Boateng, Isaac Osei, John Kodua, and Alan Kyerematen and their campaign teams and volunteers for keeping alive and well the competitive tradition of our party. The party and I are grateful to them for the grace and manner in which they have accepted the results. It is to their credit.

I want to thank members of my campaign team, especially Boakye Agyarko – my campaign manager, the young MPs –- Dominic Nitiwul, Isaac Asiamah, Kobby Okyere-Darko Mensah, Catherine Afeku -- my great contemporary, Yaw Osafo-Maafo, Daniel Nii Kwatei Titus-Glover, Brian Acheampong, and the rest of the team who traveled with me throughout the length and breadth of our country and who conducted the most comprehensive party leadership campaign in Ghana’s history. My gratitude goes as well to my able representatives to the National Elections Committee, Messrs Victor Newman and Calus von Brazzi. I want to thank also all my regional and constituency coordinators, polling agents and grassroots volunteers across the country who worked so hard to help deliver this spectacular victory. I also want to say a special thanks to all the leading figures of the party and Members of Parliament, who encouraged and supported me in this campaign. May God bless you all.

I said at the very beginning, when I met the media in my house in Nima, that we have a good story to tell and that we would run a decent and efficient campaign. I am happy that I kept my word and we ran a clean, issues-based, upbeat campaign. We have shown that decency pays off if you have a good message to sell.

The NPP has spoken and the message has been loud and clear. I'm humbled, once again, by the trust and the confidence of my fellow party members. With that trust comes a duty to build a solid, oiled, and sincere united front, from the bottom up.

I am determined to lead an efficient campaign machinery for that crucial victory in 2012. But, the first steps towards that are to build unity. I will work out a programme with the national executives of the party, under the National Chairman, to foster unity across all sections of the party and to decide how best to use the party structures to prosecute the 2012 presidential campaign.

Yes, the overwhelming majority of the party has voted for me. The majority of the people have had their say but the whole family must lead the way to the victory we seek in 2012. We need each and everyone on board. And, I pledge to work with all my heart and soul to achieve this.

Today marks an important moment in the destiny of our great family, the New Patriotic Party. An opportunity has been presented to us for a clear future direction for our beloved Ghana.

The dream of the founders of our tradition to build a thriving democracy and a strong market economy in our country -- which will deliver prosperity for the broad masses of our people under the rule of law, respect for human rights and the principles of democratic accountability -- is still very much alive.

I am calling on all members and sympathisers of our party, and the great majority of Ghanaians to join us in making this dream a reality in our time.

Let us continue to believe in Ghana -- Africa’s Black Star.
God bless you,
God bless the NPP,
And, God bless Ghana.
Thank you

Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo

Love Betrayed!!

He spent his idle time helping his mum ran their family business. It was small cosmetic shop at Adenta. It helped him forget the sour incident that almost sent him to the gallows. A betrayal from a close pal was like thrusting a spiky pointer through the soul. The beast took away the only thing he cherished most. The customers came as usual to buy few hair products and other stuff. His only interest was to make more sales. It gave him some inner flush akin to what Brenda gave him before he lost her to the fast life in London. The customers, mainly the female ones, to him were images in a mirror reflecting the same distorted refractions like the one gone before. He paid very little attention to them. They are erratic and heartbreakers. This notwithstanding there was a fussy customer he could hardly ignore. He was stunned by her looks as he served her. His hands hanged in the air unable to take the money from her.

Stephen was recovering from the shocks of Brenda’s betrayal so he kept a low profile. He was not ready for another twist in his already mangled life. He had met Brenda back on campus and they had a dreamy relation. They were the toast of their friends as they were a striking pair. A cord bound the duo together. Realities of life after school tore the cord into shreds. It was like digging a limitless void as things went haywire. Stephen was unemployed and all his job hunts yielded no dividend. However, fate smiled on them. Brenda got a two-year working abroad visa to the UK. They celebrated the good news with a night out and had a jolly time. The exciting news notwithstanding there was a little hitch; Brenda had nowhere to lodge in the UK. Stephen phoned his bosom friend in London and pleaded with him to host his angel. The friend readily agreed to help. He saw Brenda off at the airport and waited until the BA flight vanished into the unknown.

Life in London is very different. His friend tried many times to seduce Brenda just as she arrived. When that failed, he frustrated her. He locked her out in the cold winter blizzards to freeze. He hid the grocery and denied her access to basic things in the house. The hassle was too much for Brenda. She lost her nerves and gave in to ease her frustration. Her idea was to have a brief fling with the pest to calm him down. Who knows what Stephen was doing in Ghana? He might be having fun with other ladies as she went through harrowing experience in the chill, she reflected. It was not to be; the brief fling became a routine. The vampire became so loving after he drew the first blood. He indulged her and showered her with delicate gifts. They were kinds of gifts carefully selected from flagships stores on Oxford Street. Stephen could only afford such exquisites gifts in his dreams. Brenda wizened. It was better to bask in a handy wealth than lingers on with a bloke hunting for non-existence job. She agreed to the Londoner’s marriage offer without blinking her eyes.

The lady who turned Stephen’s head upside down after Brenda’ betrayal was a cute looking lady with a flowing hair and a nice shape to match. Her name was Susan. She was new in the area. The day she went to the shop, she was in a simple straight dress, which fitted her perfectly. She was a sort of a temptress; so irresistible. Stephen’s behaviour the day he saw her was embarrassing. He could not control his emotions and betrayed himself to on lookers. Susan was embarrassed as well. She dropped the money on a table, and hurriedly left the shop.

Stephen had been on the look out for the temptress since the episode but she never turned up at the shop for months. He tarried but there was no sign of her. He volunteered to be at the shop more often and the mum was baffled. It was unusual of him. Lamentably, he was engrossed with Susan’s jelly looks he forgot to take her number. When all hope of seeing Susan was lost, she turned up at the shop one afternoon. She had not been well she told Stephen.

Stephen was so excited to see her. He told her he had looked for her everywhere under the sun. She said she was flattered. She visited the shop regularly there after. She was bored at home, she explained to him. He invited her to the movies one day and he was relieved when she accepted the invitation. Susan turned up in dazzling dress and he was stupefied at her looks. Joyously he welcomed her with a cuddle. He told her he was impressed with her looks. At the movies at the film studios at Kanda, Stephen chose a familiar suite. It was a preference for Brenda. Stephen sat so closed to Susan and his thigh rubbed hers. The softness coming from her bare silky thigh was so soulful he lost focus. The film beamed on the screen but his mind was on the appeal from the one sitting next to him. The lights were dim. It created a perfect romantic atmosphere. He saw chunk portion of her thighs radiating forcefully through the dim. It was greasy and rewarding.

The heat was unbearable and he excused her. He went out to the bar and bought some popcorn and drinks. The lovebirds popped the corn and washed it down with the drink. Susan was in the mood and became flirty. She got closer to him and placed her head on his shoulder. Occasionally Stephen fed her with his corn. He offered her his drink as well and she sipped it through the straw. At a point instead of the popcorn, he offered her his lips. She grabbed them with hers and mouthed it with glee. It became obvious they were no longer watching the movie. The movie was a bait to lure the cod from its hideout. They engaged in flowery love games as they ignored Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s movie ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ beaming on the screen. It became steamy and Stephen held the tip of her dress at the upper part. He looked at her face and said ‘can I have look’? She ignored him. He repeated his question. She nodded. He busied himself rubbing her faintness. It was breathtaking. He thought he would never love again nor taste of the bliss derived from cuddling a loved one. Was Susan real or an illusion just like Brenda? He pondered.

Months ago, he had memorable burst with Brenda in the same room. She clanged to him and wept her heart out. She was sad there were going to live apart, she said. She promised to remain dedicated and return to him in one piece. It was the last sweet words he heard from the cherished one. He did not hear from Brenda again after she became a prey to his predator friend in London. The home wrecker stopped calling him as well. Any time he tried calling the answering machine bellowed ‘the number you have dialled is incorrect please check the number and dial again. Please check the number and dial again’. Was Susan real or just a delusion like Brenda? He kept pondering. He was confused. He was scared.